Today I want to share about my anger at God (which was damaging my first love) as I pondered the great suffering of believers worldwide.  And as I struggled with both anger and fear, Job came to  mind. He, too, complained to God about suffering—his own; where he lost everything except his wife.

In the end in Job chapters 38-42 God answered Job’s complaints, not by telling him “why,” but “who.”

God began with, "Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. --"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand.

--"On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?”

--"Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place,

-- "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen those of the hail…?”

--"Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs?”

--"Do you give the horse its strength or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?”

--"Does the eagle soar at your command and build its nest on high?”

--"Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!"

He ends with, “Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?”

So, God’s answer to Job, and to me is—“Trust me, I am all powerful, all knowing, all seeing. I have a great, detailed and good plan and will weave all together, whether pleasant or painful.”

In other places God says, “in allowing suffering for my children I am maturing them, giving them a big role in the plan of the universe, and letting them earn rewards for heaven. Trust me, I know what I am doing.”

Like Job, I must reply, “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer. I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to  know. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."

And so, in the face of this Truth, I choose to repent of my arrogance and my unbelief, my anger and fear--my thinking I know better than God. And this begins another step in restoring my first love for God which will flow from trusting God, who had proved Himself over and over, rather than trusting myself.

I encourage you, too, to read Job chapters 38-42 and refresh your view of God—and of yourself!

Picture, “And God spoke to Job out of the whirlwind Job 38:1